And i really do love him. Like really really.
And if he ever sees this blog I think he’ll go mad. He’ll say that I don’t trust him again. He’ll say that I kept things from him again.
But sweetheart. When I tell you things, you take my thoughts word-for-word and will force yourself to change into something else like a robot, and will then continue acting in that unnatural state, thinking that I will be happy for the change. If I don’t tell you, you say that I keep shit from you. It’s not, alright? I just think that these are all too petty to be brought up and I don’t want us to constantly have to argue about it. And you to constantly wanting to change for it. I don’t want you to, alright? I don’t want to date a robot. Because you love me too much to let go and although I tried to 2 times, trust me I never really wanted to. My way of dealing with all these is to keep quiet until something really serious pops up, THEN I focus on that matter.
If I keep behaving like a whiny bitch then I’ll look fucking ridiculous, won’t I?
Please understand.
Hello
I’m back again.
*breathes*
My mind’s a mess.
I don’t know what to believe. i don’t know who to trust. Is he for real? Or was he never healed from the hurt I caused him and is currently plotting a revenge for me?
I know that I’m boring him. I really am.
Ok maybe not boring him i can’t expect our relationship to be entertainment 24/7 but I just feel so….. socially awkward at times. Cause he’s louder than me and I’m not used to people being louder. I’M ALWAYS LOUDEST.
And then there’s my friend. A really nice friend. But too perfect. I envy her, and every single time my boy talks to her, I go a little all ice queen inside.
But how can you blame me? He kinda flirts with her you know. He brought her to places from his past(which I’ve never visited before except for this mall but he didn’t even bring me I knew that place since young), he treated her to a birthday meal because she fucking demanded for it from God knows why only him(he hasn’t even bought ME a meal before. or anything, in fact. I’m not being some thick-skinned materialistic shit here who wants free meals. Please I hate it when I owe people things but c’mon. Her before me?) and he entertains her more then me.
How. Is that fucking normal?
There are two kinds of love. In the safe kind you look for someone who’s exactly like you. It’s what most folks settle for. But then there’s the other kind of love. Everyone’s born with a ragged edge, and some folks crave that piece that’s a perfect fit. You’ll search for it forever, if you have to. And if you’re lucky enough to find it, it looks so right, you start to tear at your own seams, thinking, maybe I could look just as perfect. But then, of course, when you try to get close to their other half, you don’t fit anymore. That kind of love, you come out of it a different person than you were when you started.
— (via theflightout)
He hurts me.
He complicates my life.
But at the same time, he makes me happy and I love him.
So tell me. What now?
(Source: super-lintendo, via dancefuckerdance)
We were holding hands.
Me : “Why is your hand so sweaty? Are you ok?”
You : “Yeah. I’m nervous I guess.”
Me : “Why what happened?”
You : “You make me nervous.”
